Sunday, November 19, 2006

There's Not Enough Stuffing In The World To Fill That Piehole

Thanksgiving seems to bring out the "best" in MILs across the globe. To get ourselves in the holiday mood, please share your most memorable experience from days gone by that may or may not include a turkey (whether bird or human form) and/or your MIL (whether bird or human form).

If you don't have contributing status to MILDEW, please feel free to share your story in the comments of this post.

Happy Thanksgiving everyone. Make sure to have a bottle (or three) of great wine in the house for yourselves...and a box of the pink wine in the fridge to offer the MIL.


Blogger Berklie said...

Simply LURV the title. "Piehole"... he he he.. but as for stories, wow where do I begin? Oh my... almost too many! But fortunately, I have very few holidays in person with her piehole.

5:30 PM  
Blogger Stacy said...

My MIL just sent a new tablecloth and napkins to match. Not bad, I thought... until I saw the "how to cook a Thanksgiving feast book" included in the package. I mean... WTF! She doesn't even know what sautee means!

6:11 PM  
Blogger Brighton said...

Fav Thanksgiving ever was when my German MIL said that the holocaust was made up and that the Jews were just whiny. I had to sit there for the rest of the meal with tears streaming down my cheeks. My husband (at the time) didn't say anything to stand up for me or the rest of my Jewish family.

12:52 PM  
Anonymous christine said...

Brighton - i am amazed that you were even able to sit through the rest of the meal. i don't think i would have been able to.

berklie - can we have at least one mil story?!?! pleeeeeeease!!!!!!

6:44 PM  
Blogger Berklie said...

Wellll.... okay, Christine. How about the time we flew across the freaking counry to spend Christmas with her. And she KNOWS my daughter is highly allergic to all apsects of dairy. Like vomitting, allergic. My MIL didn't evedn bother to ask if they were any alternatives to cook with. Nope. The whole Christmas meal was dairy. Oh yeah, except the one cooked potato she left out for me to "make our own mashed potatoes". She found herself all too gracious for doing that. So Chlo' & I (since I was still nursing her) ate what we could find in the fridge & Che*rios, while everyone else dined.
I hate her.
But that pales in comparison to what Brighton endured. That is just horrid.

7:47 PM  
Blogger wrnglrjan said...

Oh, wow, can I play? I just don't know where to start ...

How about how she weaseled money out of a trust set up to pay for her kids' college educations? And how, when my husband tried to get some of the money to pay for tuition (his sister had already paid for four years at a private school with it), she told him "if you use it all, there won't be enough for [his younger brother]", leaving us, both full-tiime students, three days to come up with a semester's tuition or he would be disenrolled for a semester he'd already completed.

She arrives tomorrow. Aren't we lucky?

12:53 PM  
Blogger Lisa said...

I have one.... My EX(thank God)MIL sent a Thanksgiving card to the family, in the card it was address to everyone except my 10 month old son. His name was left off, only my ex husbands first 4 kids were listed in the greeting. She has NEVER sent a card to my son, he's turning 5 on New Years Day. I have SOOOO many more stories about her.

3:34 PM  
Blogger SalGal said...


Wow. Wow. Wow.

Um, I think I won't complain about my MIL, even though she DEWs.

Brighton, I hope your husband is an ex now, or at least banned from the marital bed for life and turned into a eunuch so he can't procreate any more of his mother's BS.

6:09 PM  
Blogger Brighton said...

salgal- He's an ex, in fact ALL my ex's live in Texas. : )
It was a horrible experience, that one and the six years of bigotry I endured from them. Now I am happily married, but his parents are Southern Baptist and hell bent on converting this Jew. We have been married almost seven years now, and the stories I could tell you about them and their crazy ways!

3:41 PM  
Blogger Brighton said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

3:42 PM  
Blogger Meg said...

My MIL fed my 12 month old spicy sausage and root beer on Thanksgiving, then left me to clean up when my daughter vomited all over everything. To top it off, she laughed about it.

8:30 AM  
Blogger Stacy said...

I’m sorry, but I just have to complain about my MIL some more. This is probably my only outlet that doesn’t involve violence (like wringing her freaking neck.) She’s been here for one week, we have one week to go, and now there’s talk of her staying an additional week. Here’s just a tidbit of how annoying and selfish she is: She came into some money (about 3 mil) a few years ago and has been freaked about everyone wanting to put her in a home and take her money away from her. She has 2 sons and 3 grandchildren, all of which she has never given money to. Every time she comes to visit we pay everything for her- from her airfare to her shopping sprees. She doesn’t even buy the kids Christmas presents. She asks me to do it and then never gives me the money for it. Anyway, my daughter’s 7th birthday is coming up. She said she’d like to open a saving account for her so that she could teach her about saving money. She asked my husband and I how much she thought she should deposit in that account. We both said, “$10,000” because that’s the amount you can gift to a person a year without being taxed. If she doesn’t start gifting to her grandkids, about half her $ will go to the government when she passes. Upon hearing $10,000, she flipped out, claiming we are only nice to her for her money and that we don’t deserve anything, and that she’s going to give all her possessions away to people who can appreciate her. She is so fucking nuts. She hurt my husband’s feelings so badly. I want her out of my house. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg…

Thanks for letting me vent.

2:55 PM  
Blogger Damselfly said...

Oh yes, it's true. I griped about it on my own blog before a fellow blogger told me about your site. Your acronym -- too funny!

5:46 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I too have hideous MIL stories. Have blogged about her twice.
I even got so mad, when she got Alzheimers I was pissed off, because it meant I could never pay her back!
I know I am not like her, because my son in law tells everyone that "everyone loves my MIL."
I dont have a DIL anymore, but I still love the one I had.


9:17 PM  

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