No. 1 - First Edition: Stories From You, By You
#1. Where do I even begin...how about the "thank you" note I received after I made my evil MIL a fab scrapbook (expensive too) for her 50th b-day:
Dear M&K,
I had asked that we forego gifts at this time since they can create expectations that might stress an already tenuous situation. However, I will trust that the gift and my thanks will be respected for the spirit with which they are intended. The scrapbook is very nice and, for me, the hope for better memories with you.
M, I do appreciate having had time to talk. Dad and I valued your candor, conversation and chance to find common ground. We continue to see your strength and focus on your goals and admire you. You have risen from whatever adversity you have faced and we are proud of you.
K, I hope to be able to sit and talk alone with you to learn and understand you. For M to be happy with you, there must be a good side. I welcome learning that.
Thanks again,
Mom
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#2. [At Christmas] there were some packages at our door. From the in-laws. For M & L. Specifically. Even the Harry & David box of pears didn't have my name on them. I guess that's ok, cuz I really don't care for pears any way.
The cards were for M. There were pics of the "family" that were taken at the SIL's HS graduation, professional, framed pics. Thank goodness there were none including the BIL's wife. There was even a pic of BO, the new nephew.
It just didn't come across as very nice and there was nothing for MJ either.
She came out and said, "I didn't think I had to do anything for Katrina [the author of this entry]. Why would I?"
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#3. [MIL] NEVER mentions or asks about MJ, as she seemed a bit disappointed we were still pg with one baby after losing Tiny. She just doesn't want me giving M any more kids and keeping him "bound" to me.
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#4. I had been dating my then-boyfriend (now husband) for several years when we got engaged and were trying to pick a date for our wedding. (A year in advance) His sister had been dating her boyfriend for several months and had announced after dating him for 10 weeks that they would be married within the year (he hadn't actually asked her yet, but she was THAT SURE). My soon-to-be mother-in-law told us we couldn't have the date or month that we wanted because it would be too close to his sister's wedding. That wasn't even official yet. And we were engaged first. And had been dating way longer.
~~~~~~~~~~
#5. Even though I had a miscarriage one month before, my in laws never said one thing about it to me when they visited this fall. Well, I did get a generic "how do you feel".
We went out to eat one night and my mother in law was all over my son, cuddling him and carrying him which was sweet but a little over the top. When my husband said something about it to her she said, "I have to cuddle him, he is my last Grandchild."
No matter the wound was still fresh from my miscarriage but she never even asked if we were going to try again, which we were going to at the time.
It seemed like such a mean thing to say to me.
~~~~~~~~~~
#6. My husband and I sent my in-laws (his parents) some pictures by email. Among these pictures was one where I am sitting on the floor with the dogs. Mother-in-law calls to tell my husband that they got the pictures. (He related the conversation to me later.)
This is their conversation...
Before she said anything about if she liked the pictures or not, she actually asked my husband if I was planning on growing my hair out any time soon.
Husband - What, mom?
MiL - Well, she is keeping her hair awfully short and you know women really shouldn't keep their hair short. It always looks better long.
Husband - While it's nice when Blue's hair is long, her hair also looks really cute when it's short. And besides, it's HER hair and she can style it how ever she wants.
MiL - But it really would be better if she grew it back out. Girls just don't look right with short hair.
Husband - She likes it mom. And I am not going to tell her how to do her hair. But did you even like the pictures? Aren't the dogs cute? I think that the picture with Blue and the dogs was really cute.
She didn't answer. She never even commented on whether or not she liked the pictures. She changed the subject and then quickly had something else come up so she had to let him go. As a side thought, my mom and I did have a good time discussing getting a bald cap and putting it on and taking some pictures to send to them. Or dying it a weird color or getting a strange colored wig. It made the weirdness of it all easier.
We recently went out to see my in-laws for Christmas and my hair was again a topic of conversation. This time, my mother-in-law usually waited until my husband wasn't around to comment. I got a lot more of "are you planning on growing your hair out again?" "Now why exactly do you like short hair again?" " Don't you feel sort of 'boyish' with you hair like that?" I generally just told her that yes, my hair is short. I like it this way. Not only that, it is easier to style and faster when I get ready in the mornings. It is my hair and I will do it the way I want to. I don't tell her how to do her hair.
Finally, after trying to be polite with my answers and not having anything else make her stop I responded to " Don't you feel sort of 'boyish' with you hair like that?" with "Don't you feel sort of 'old' with hair like that?" That got her good and she left me alone for a while!
~~~~~~~~~~
#7. The morning of my wedding, as my husband-to-be was getting dressed in his hotel room, his mother approached him, put her hands on each of his shoulders and cried, "How can you do this to me?" Her husband quickly ushered her away and told her to be quiet. My husband didn't share this story with me until we'd been married for seven years. By then, my mother-in-law had racked up enough bad points that another one wouldn't matter.
~~~~~~~~~~
#8. My husband and I bought our first house and had a Memorial Day party/BBQ to celebrate. As she was hugging and kissing my husband goodbye, he said, "Next time you come visit we'll have to see the sights together." She looked him dead in the face and said, "Oh, I don't think I will ever come to your house again." No idea why...and I don't care enough to find out.
~~~~~~~~~~
#9. My two sons were stillborn...we had to have funerals under Ohio law...she didn't come to either. She left her own son to stand there in theat cemetery...burying his children alone...twice.
~~~~~~~~~~
#10. Ever since my FIL and MIL divorced when my husband was young my MIL has lived alone. She loves to read and have the TV on. I can understand, I like to have noise in my house when I am home alone too. She has lived alone a long time and she is used to having things her way. Unfortunately, when she comes to visit us she still feels entitled to watch whatever she wants while she reads her book. A
lso, she refuses to sleep in the guest room. She insists upon sleeping in the den on the couch, in front of the TV. The TV must be on all night long. Also, this prevents us from staying up late or getting up early to watch something. If we steal the remote or ask to watch something else she gets all upset and complains the WHOLE time. "Why are you watching this crap?" "This is mindless TV?" "I can't believe you actually watch this?" However, she is a ravenous soap opera watcher.
I'm really not a TV addict but it is just miserable feeling like you can't do something in your own home for fear of getting a lecture. She doesn't ever want to go out and do things with us - so the whole time she is there everything revolves around the TV. I'm an adult and I don't need commentary on my TV preferences. I just hate the feeling that someone has come in and taken over my home.
Dear M&K,
I had asked that we forego gifts at this time since they can create expectations that might stress an already tenuous situation. However, I will trust that the gift and my thanks will be respected for the spirit with which they are intended. The scrapbook is very nice and, for me, the hope for better memories with you.
M, I do appreciate having had time to talk. Dad and I valued your candor, conversation and chance to find common ground. We continue to see your strength and focus on your goals and admire you. You have risen from whatever adversity you have faced and we are proud of you.
K, I hope to be able to sit and talk alone with you to learn and understand you. For M to be happy with you, there must be a good side. I welcome learning that.
Thanks again,
Mom
~~~~~~~~~~~~
#2. [At Christmas] there were some packages at our door. From the in-laws. For M & L. Specifically. Even the Harry & David box of pears didn't have my name on them. I guess that's ok, cuz I really don't care for pears any way.
The cards were for M. There were pics of the "family" that were taken at the SIL's HS graduation, professional, framed pics. Thank goodness there were none including the BIL's wife. There was even a pic of BO, the new nephew.
It just didn't come across as very nice and there was nothing for MJ either.
She came out and said, "I didn't think I had to do anything for Katrina [the author of this entry]. Why would I?"
~~~~~~~~~~
#3. [MIL] NEVER mentions or asks about MJ, as she seemed a bit disappointed we were still pg with one baby after losing Tiny. She just doesn't want me giving M any more kids and keeping him "bound" to me.
~~~~~~~~~~
#4. I had been dating my then-boyfriend (now husband) for several years when we got engaged and were trying to pick a date for our wedding. (A year in advance) His sister had been dating her boyfriend for several months and had announced after dating him for 10 weeks that they would be married within the year (he hadn't actually asked her yet, but she was THAT SURE). My soon-to-be mother-in-law told us we couldn't have the date or month that we wanted because it would be too close to his sister's wedding. That wasn't even official yet. And we were engaged first. And had been dating way longer.
~~~~~~~~~~
#5. Even though I had a miscarriage one month before, my in laws never said one thing about it to me when they visited this fall. Well, I did get a generic "how do you feel".
We went out to eat one night and my mother in law was all over my son, cuddling him and carrying him which was sweet but a little over the top. When my husband said something about it to her she said, "I have to cuddle him, he is my last Grandchild."
No matter the wound was still fresh from my miscarriage but she never even asked if we were going to try again, which we were going to at the time.
It seemed like such a mean thing to say to me.
~~~~~~~~~~
#6. My husband and I sent my in-laws (his parents) some pictures by email. Among these pictures was one where I am sitting on the floor with the dogs. Mother-in-law calls to tell my husband that they got the pictures. (He related the conversation to me later.)
This is their conversation...
Before she said anything about if she liked the pictures or not, she actually asked my husband if I was planning on growing my hair out any time soon.
Husband - What, mom?
MiL - Well, she is keeping her hair awfully short and you know women really shouldn't keep their hair short. It always looks better long.
Husband - While it's nice when Blue's hair is long, her hair also looks really cute when it's short. And besides, it's HER hair and she can style it how ever she wants.
MiL - But it really would be better if she grew it back out. Girls just don't look right with short hair.
Husband - She likes it mom. And I am not going to tell her how to do her hair. But did you even like the pictures? Aren't the dogs cute? I think that the picture with Blue and the dogs was really cute.
She didn't answer. She never even commented on whether or not she liked the pictures. She changed the subject and then quickly had something else come up so she had to let him go. As a side thought, my mom and I did have a good time discussing getting a bald cap and putting it on and taking some pictures to send to them. Or dying it a weird color or getting a strange colored wig. It made the weirdness of it all easier.
We recently went out to see my in-laws for Christmas and my hair was again a topic of conversation. This time, my mother-in-law usually waited until my husband wasn't around to comment. I got a lot more of "are you planning on growing your hair out again?" "Now why exactly do you like short hair again?" " Don't you feel sort of 'boyish' with you hair like that?" I generally just told her that yes, my hair is short. I like it this way. Not only that, it is easier to style and faster when I get ready in the mornings. It is my hair and I will do it the way I want to. I don't tell her how to do her hair.
Finally, after trying to be polite with my answers and not having anything else make her stop I responded to " Don't you feel sort of 'boyish' with you hair like that?" with "Don't you feel sort of 'old' with hair like that?" That got her good and she left me alone for a while!
~~~~~~~~~~
#7. The morning of my wedding, as my husband-to-be was getting dressed in his hotel room, his mother approached him, put her hands on each of his shoulders and cried, "How can you do this to me?" Her husband quickly ushered her away and told her to be quiet. My husband didn't share this story with me until we'd been married for seven years. By then, my mother-in-law had racked up enough bad points that another one wouldn't matter.
~~~~~~~~~~
#8. My husband and I bought our first house and had a Memorial Day party/BBQ to celebrate. As she was hugging and kissing my husband goodbye, he said, "Next time you come visit we'll have to see the sights together." She looked him dead in the face and said, "Oh, I don't think I will ever come to your house again." No idea why...and I don't care enough to find out.
~~~~~~~~~~
#9. My two sons were stillborn...we had to have funerals under Ohio law...she didn't come to either. She left her own son to stand there in theat cemetery...burying his children alone...twice.
~~~~~~~~~~
#10. Ever since my FIL and MIL divorced when my husband was young my MIL has lived alone. She loves to read and have the TV on. I can understand, I like to have noise in my house when I am home alone too. She has lived alone a long time and she is used to having things her way. Unfortunately, when she comes to visit us she still feels entitled to watch whatever she wants while she reads her book. A
lso, she refuses to sleep in the guest room. She insists upon sleeping in the den on the couch, in front of the TV. The TV must be on all night long. Also, this prevents us from staying up late or getting up early to watch something. If we steal the remote or ask to watch something else she gets all upset and complains the WHOLE time. "Why are you watching this crap?" "This is mindless TV?" "I can't believe you actually watch this?" However, she is a ravenous soap opera watcher.
I'm really not a TV addict but it is just miserable feeling like you can't do something in your own home for fear of getting a lecture. She doesn't ever want to go out and do things with us - so the whole time she is there everything revolves around the TV. I'm an adult and I don't need commentary on my TV preferences. I just hate the feeling that someone has come in and taken over my home.
posted by DD at 10:43 AM
6 comments
So, in honor of National Delurking Week 2007, send your best MILDEW stories to ddknockedup at yahoo dot com and I will post them anonymously on your behalf. Send as many stories as you like. We will post them in installments of 10. We should easily get at least 10 stories, right?