Why lie

Dear MIL,
Why lie? You have told us for weeks that you were mailing boxes for the girls with some summer clothes in it and finally returning the stuff that we left there A YEAR AGO. So why did you call 10 days ago and tell your son that they were shipped when we learned yesterday that you hid them at your SIL's? What was the point in lying? Had we known this we would have gone out and bought the stuff that we left there for Aiden so that we could have it for Fletcher. But since you told us that you had sent it, we didn't bother. And now it looks like your second grandchild will be making an early entrance into the world and we have no car seat for him. Again I ask, why lie?

Sea of Bad Taste

Dearest MIL,

When someone sends you a birthday gift, the proper thing to do is say "thank you". I know that you suffer from an extreme lack of manners, but one can at least say "thank you" when one is on the phone with the gift-giver. yes, that's right--it went like this:

hubby (son)--"Hi, Mom. Happy Birthday! Did you receive the pears and apples? (as in, 2 dozen Royal Riviera pears and specialty apples from Harry and David)"

MIL--"Yes, I got them." (big pause)

hubby--"Well, you said that you and Dad really wanted to focus on eating healthier, so we thought you'd really enjoy them. We've had them, and it's really like eating dessert."

MIL--"I made a Waldorf salad with them. They taste about the same as the ones from Publix."

hubby (concerned)--"They are really supposed to be premium fruit. That wasn't our experience. I'll call and have them send another batch."

Notice in that whole conversation was NOT ONE "THANK YOU". So the hubby calls Harry and David, only to be told the whole truth. His mother called H & D and said the box was slightly smashed on one end, damaging one pear. They sent another 2 dozen pears and apples, along with truffles, cookies, and an assortment of other goodies. She still wasn't happy. So H & D sent the biggest tower of goodies they make, along with more fruit. The customer service rep told the hubby that "they really didn't know what else they could do to please this customer...any suggestions?"

My personal opinion is that she is greedy and selfish, and complained when there was really no problem in order to get more goods. Then, on top of that, she tells us that it tastes the same as fruit from the grocery store, and doesn't even utter a simple "thank you". Now, if you secretly consumed 6 DOZEN pears and apples, plus assorted goodies, could it really be bad fruit?

So in the words of my hubby, let me sum it up for you:

"She'll do frickin' anything to get what she wants. Now instead of being healthy, she's drowned the fruit in mayo and eaten massive amount of goodies. NICE. She'll be lucky to get anything next year."

Especially since I had to pick it out for her, dear hubby. If it were up to you, she would have gotten nothing ths year. I should have let sleeping dogs lie.

A Little Appreciation Is All I Ask

Dear MIL,

I think I need to inform you about the wonders of technology. There is this amazing invention called the computer that can inform you, up to the minute, when something, like a bouquet of flowers, has been delivered to someone's house. It is a helpful way to make sure a gift you painstakingly picked out, spent a lot of money on and sent to someone's house gets delivered safely and on time. Thus, I knew that the bouquet I ordered for you (from your son and myself) for Mother's Day arrived at your house at noon today. Due to the fear of inclement weather ruining the delicate blossoms, I called you after 3 PM, 3 hours after delivery, to make sure you received the flowers. Nothing was said upon realizing it was me on the phone and imagine my surprise at being forced to listen to a ten minute interlude describing the bouquet your other son and daughter-in-law sent you, gushing about how thoughtful it was of them to think of you and then finish it up with the afterthought, "Oh and the one you guys sent was nice too."

Next year, prepare for disappointment.

Fondly,
Your DIL